it is a world where only the strong survive, protected by foul aftertastes and disarming colors, and with each passing day the population is whiddled down to the cockroaches. let's face facts, though: when we're talking about candy, who really wants an antagonist? i'd rather have a siren, sweet and enticing. mmm, you know that sticky little temptress...

wait just one second, though. i'm the freakin' god of the candy bowl. i don't have to tolerate those pesky little ginger turds! i don't have to watch my creation reduced to a pathetic pile of root beer barrels and partially crushed spearmint starlights. from now on, every generation will have it's dredges removed from the bowl. so long chick-o-stix and fire flavor jolly ranchers - i condemn thee!